Playdate hangover . . . a taboo subject?

I have keeping a low profile the last couple of days, trying to recover from a playdate hangover. I don't have a definite definition for a playdate hangover. I once tried Googling it, but the results that came back dealt with moms drinking too much alcohol at their child's playdate. I can definitely say this is NOT what I am suffering from.

I have been hesitant to even write about this subject, in fear I will be ridiculed. However, in the last month I've heard passing comments from other mothers that lead me to believe that they may have suffered from a playdate hangover.

A playdate hangover, in my books, is when you become overwhelmed by discussions related to babies, marriage or motherhood. You can also get overwhelmed by your own preceived inadequacies as a mother or wife. On the other side of the coin you can also get discouraged because you didn't connect with other women or feel less as a mother because you don't share the same parenting values as others.

Being a woman can be hard on the best of days. Being a mother can be rough, especially when you throw hormones and self doubt as a first-time parent into the mix.

I must say, I didn't coin the phrase "playdate hangover." My parenting guru, K, did. K, who has been an invaluable resource since darling daughter arrived, calmly explained to me one day that I was suffering from a playdate hangover. My social structure has changed and I'm trying to find my footing as a mother, she explained. What I was feeling was perfectly normal, she concluded.

Glad to hear it, but what is the remedy? I still haven't figured that out, yet. I have come to the conclusion that although I could shut myself off from others so I don't have to deal with these overwhelming and confusing emotions, I can't isolate myself from the outside world. That would simply bring on other problems. Plus, the friendship I have developed in the last nine months with other mothers are extremely important to me. Moderation could be the key. I was forced to cancel our attendance at several playdates this week due to the fact darling daughter is sick. It was a blessing in disguise. As strangely as it sounds, going to playdates can be emotionally draining when you are still suffering from the aftermath of a playdate hangover. Unfortunately, there is no "hair of the dog that bit you" solution when it comes to curing it.

This is not the first time I have suffered from a playdate hangover. The first full-blown hangover happened two months ago. I left the playdate feeling these strange feelings of inadequcies as a mother. To get settle these feelings, I bundled darling daughter into her stroller and we went on a long walk around our neighbourhood to clear my head. It wasn't until later when K explained what I was suffering from that I finally made sense of my feelings.

I spoke to a family visitor from Ottawa Public Health about this subject recently. While I didn't tell her about the concept of the playdate hangover, I did explain my feelings. Like K, she told me what I was feeling is normal and that it does happen. But why as mothers do we not talk about this? Are we afraid of pushing people away or upsetting our newly found social structure? Or am I the only one who feels like this? I don't think I'm the only one, but maybe I am one of the few that realize that the concept of a playdate hangovers actually exists and the feelings that come with it are normal.