Things I thought I'd never do as a parent

Darling daughter has been sick for the last day. It started when she vomited in her car seat on our way to a friend's house in the morning. It included throwing up all over her jumperoo in the afternoon. And it ended when she upchucked the sweet potatoes that dear husband fed her for dinner. I knew that vomiting would be part of the job discription when becoming a parent, but I never knew that I would be catching darling daughter's vomit with my hands.

So that experience leads to an interesting question: what else have I've done in the last eight months as a parent that I never thought I'd ever do?

Number one: counting poos and pees. Yep. Those first days after darling daughter was born, dear husband and I would deligently count the number of poos and pees she had as well as their consistency. We'd proudly take these lists to doctor's appointments and health clinics, just in case someone needed to know how many bowel movements she had between lunchtime and dinner.

Number two: analyzing the consistency of darling daughter's bowel movements. I know it is disgusting and perhaps too much information, but they can say a lot of the health of your baby. Is she constipated? Does she diarrha? Does it look normal? Yep, there have been plenty of times that I have stared at her dirty diaper, hoping it would give me an answer.

Number three: purchasing foam squares. I swore up and down before I ever got pregnant that I would never buy foam squares because, personally, I think they are ugly. However, when I started hosting playdates, I soon came to the realization that my hardwood floors are not really conducive to baby playdates. So I bought eight squares, which eventually expanded to 12. I'm now contemplating getting another four. If you are interested, you can buy them at Canadian Tire, Wal-Mart and even the Real Canadian Superstore.

Number four: owning toys that make noise. Maybe the best $10 (or the worst, depending on what mood I am in) I ever spent at a consignment store was on a discovery nursery farm. Darling daughter loves to bang the colourful keys and poke at the plastic farm animals. This is one of the many toys she has that makes noise. She has a puppy that sings and plays music, the jumperoo, a monkey that balances on a ball and a cruise and crawl jungle. Yep, and they are all powered by batteries. Don't even get me started on my theory that the toy companies are in collusion with the battery companies.

Number five: that starting solids would be so stressful. Who knew that pureeing vegetables and fruit that would be so complicated? What food should I start her on? Is it nutritious enough? Is she getting enough? Is she eating too much? Is it organic? Gosh, it is enough to make you go batty.

Number six: that sex with dear husband would become a low priority. Sad, but true. Even months after darling daughter's birth, sleep seems so much attractive.

Number seven: that I'd drag my daughter's exersaucer in front of the television so she can watch Baby Einstein. During some very stressful, but rare days, Baby Einstein has been my saviour. I know I sound like a horrible parent, but some days you gotta do what you gotta do to survive, and that includes giving in and by popping in the Baby Einstein DVD and watch the DVD work its magic. And work it does. Who knew that bright colourful toys and classical music would be a perfect match?

Number eight: that I could love someone so much that my heart hurts. She is my heart and my soul. My crowning achievement.