Official occupation: Wonder Woman

Sometimes I forget what the "real world" is like. It has been almost been two years since I gave up my job to go on maternity leave and never return to the working world. I forgot that one measuring sticks society uses to evaluate one as a person is their occupation.


Let me explain. Yesterday I went to the bank to make a hurried retirement savings plan contribution as it was the absolute last deadline to do so. While doing the paperwork, the investment advisor asked me what my occupation was. With darling daughter in the stroller next to me, it wasn't all that hard for him to guess. "I'm a stay at home mom," I said.


"Okay," he said, typing in information into the computer. "Homemaker."


Homemaker? I'm a homemaker? This was news to me. I wanted to tell him the following: "Mister, you really should come over and take a peek at my home. I'm no homemaker. Homemaker would imply that I maintain and upkeep my home. I just don't have the time. I've got great intentions, but sometimes it doesn't work out. I've got toys strewn across my living room and downstairs playroom. I've got laundry piling up in the bedrooms. I've got dust bunnies reproducing underneath my beds and every crook and cranny in my house. At lunch time, for whatever inexplicable reason, it looks like an bomb went off in the kitchen because dirty dishes litter my counters and there are food stains all over the floor. And please don't look inside the microwave. It is just nasty. I try to do housework, but it is just too darn hard with a crying toddler hanging off my leg. Some days, I consider a successful day when I'm able to wash, dry and fold one load of laundry."

In hindsight what I should have told him to put down as my official occupation is Wonder Woman. "I think Wonder Woman is a better term that describes my occupation for the following reasons: Have you ever cared for a toddler on a couple hours of sleep? It's tough work. But what is tougher is negotiating with a toddler, especially one who is overtired. It is difficult and challenging, and there are times you want to give in to their demands, but you have to remain strong. Nap time negotiations are the hardest. When they sense weakness, they'll pounce and quickly use it to their advantage. And how about dealing with a picky toddler, the type who isn't happy with the food being presented to her so she dumps it all over the floor? And all you want to do is cry because all your hard work is at your feet on the same floor you just washed an hour ago. Yep, it is hard to remain calm, but you must. Like I said earlier, they can sense weakness easily. . . . And have you ever competed in the car seat Olympics? Bundling up said toddler in a snow suit, hauling them out to the car, getting them in and buckled into the car seat, driving to destination, arriving to destination, extracting them from the car seat and into a stroller? Do that three times a day and there is no need to go to the gym. . ."

Later that evening, I told my friend that the bank has classed my official occupation as homemaker. We both had a quiet chuckle. But I'm more inclined to say that I'm a Wonder Woman. Regardless if you stay at home, work from home or work out of the home, all mothers are Wonder Women. Because as I'm quickly discovering, the hardest job there is is being a mother.