Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Is it Saturday yet?



I can't wait until this week is over. If I never see another hanger, card stock tag, price sticker and safety pins after Saturday, I'll be a very happy girl.

A couple of months ago, I decided to get a table in the annual in the Kids Giant Garage Sale, hosted by the Ottawa Chapter of the La Leche League Canada. On Friday, I spent three hours sorting and folding clothes before inserting them in plastic bags before labeling them. And I wasn't even done. A couple of hours here and a couple of hours there, I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I still have yet to sort through toys. God help me.

So the insanity continues. However, I hoping this venture pays off as it is time to clear house of a good portion of baby clothes. While I like the thought of keeping darling daughter's clothes for a possible second child, I'm trying to be realistic. I have no idea if or when child number two comes along. Plus, I can't keep hoarding Rubbermaid bins of clothes in my basement. I'm running out of room. So it is time to say goodbye.

However, dear husband doesn't make it easy. "Do you want to give that away?" he asked while I was tagging a footless sleeper last night."She really looked cute in that."

"Yeah," I replied. "Did you think she looked cute when you were swearing under your breath, wondering how to get her in it?"

The conversation soon ended and there were no further remarks from the peanut gallery.

So my kitchen looks like a closet and I'm tired of pinning tags onto clothes. I can't wait for Saturday to come and go. I may tear up when selling darling daughter's clothes, but my basement will thank me.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Gotta run . . . update number six

Sometimes the stars align and you have one of the best runs of your life.

Although I'm new to running, I do believe I had one of the best runs of my life, or one of the best runs to date.

Since running is going so well and I've clearly proven to myself that I can run 5k, I've decided to take my running up a notch. I'm going to train for the upcoming Barrhaven Run for Roger's House 10k run. I've had my doubts that I can run 10k, but I showed myself this evening that I have both the will and the drive to do it.

The plan was to run 7.4 k tonight. The other night I ran 6.2k so I figured I could get to 7.4k, even if I had to walk a bit. Every time I lace up my shoes for a run, I wonder to myself if I can finish it. And every time this thought pops into my head, I tell myself that I will do my best because that's all I can do.

One of the things I'm starting to hate as a runner are dealing with major intersections. I don't want to wait for a red light. I want to run. Running on the spot doesn't do it for me. I hate when my runs are disrupted as it interferes with my momentum. I easily got past the first intersection. Half-way through my route, I had to run though a four-way stop. There was some confusion among the drivers stopped at the stop signs as to who should go first, but I wait for no one. You snooze, you lose, Plus, isn't there a pedestrians have the right-of-way rule? So I kept on running and let the motorists fight it out among themselves regarding who had the right-of-way.

Once again, I didn't have to wait for a red light at the major intersection. By this time I was closing in on the 6k mark. The soles of my feet were beginning to get tired, but I kept on running. My goal was to at least get to the 6.2 mark. Anything after that was a bonus.

Once I got past the 6.2 mark, I found some extra energy. Crossing a busy street (didn't have to wait for traffic), I was on my way to finishing my route, which ends at the top of a big hill. I gathered every ounce of energy I had to run up that hill. Just at the moment I thought I would finish my run, something inside of me pushed me to keep running. Running is funny that way. Just when you think you don't have anything else more to give, you do. I listened to my feet and I ran. Plus, since I didn't have to wait for any traffic, it seemed right to continue and run. Ultimately, my feet took me to my front door.

According to gmap-pedometer.com, I ran for a total of 8.1k. Simply amazing. When I first started running, running a 10k race was in the back of my mind. I thought the goal was too lofty, too far out of my reach. But it isn't. It is in my grasp. Running has been so good for me. It has helped to regain long lost confidence as well as renewed my ability to set challenges and goals. Now thoughts of running a half marathon is now sitting in the back of my head. But that goal seems too lofty, too far out of reach. However, we shall see as I never thought I'd run 5k, let alone 10k.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Taking a ride on the crazy train

I think the parenting gods are unhappy with me, and as such, have cursed me to only get five hours of sleep at night. I hope the curse soon lifts as my face feels numb. It always feels numb when I don't get enough sleep.

Darling daughter hasn't been sleeping well since Saturday night, the night before I ran my official 5k race. I wasn't surprised. It is some kind of weird parenting law of physics that if I have somewhere or to do something important the next day, darling daughter won't sleep well that night.

Since Saturday night, the quality of sleep that everyone is getting in this household has rapidly diminished. I had to sleep on her floor on Sunday night because she was unable to sleep without anyone in the room with her. We had an okay night the next night. When I mean okay, I mean that no one had to sleep on her floor. The next night, dear husband had to sleep on her floor because she couldn't sleep. Luckily, no one had to sleep on her floor last night. But if the pattern continues, I'll be pulling a twin size mattress into her room tonight and be kept awake by every sniffle, snore, toss and turn made by darling daughter.

As such, darling daughter hasn't gotten any quality sleep in five nights. However, lack of sleep hasn't inhibited her energy levels or the fact she still insists on getting up at 6:15 a.m. in the morning. Six fifteen comes early, especially when your head finally hits the pillow around 1 a.m. after spending some time trying to quiet a restless child.

So to the parenting gods: could you please lift my curse? I'd love to get more than five hours of sleep. And I would also love to feel my face again.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Becoming a semi-digital social networking dropout




Currently my relationship with Facebook can be filed under the it's complicated category.

Even I, a prolific status updater and Facebook addict, reached the breaking point and decided it was time to leave. I deactivated my account on the weekend. However, I am addicted and going cold turkey didn't exactly work out.

Social networking is a double edged sword. I find myself wasting time, browsing through the news feed, checking up on "friends" that I've not talked to since catching up more than two years ago and posting witty, but mundane status updates. Who really cares that I've just finished the first of many loads of laundry and the laundry cycle never seems to end? or making meatloaf for dinner?

I realize people use Facebook as a medium to connect with friends and family. Email? As if! Writing emails is a dying art. People post messages on friend's walls, sends them virtual gifts, comment on photos or send messages through Facebook. Who has time for email these days?

Lately, I'd find myself checking Facebook up to 15 times a day. While I wasn't on it for very long, I'd take the time to login in, browse the news feed, update my status if I wanted and log out. And then check it 15 minutes later. Oh, I've tried to curb my Facebook usage, but it doesn't work.

I've been thinking of leaving Facebook for the last three weeks. It has come clear over the last month or two I need to start living life in real-time, not on Facebook. I'm not alone. I came across this article on the Globe and Mail about how people are ditching the social networking site and becoming digital dropouts. On Saturday afternoon, I deactivated my account. Immediately, I started to have second thoughts. One of the reasons I stay on Facebook is to post photos of darling daughter. Dear husband's family lives on the other side of the country. Unfortunately, due to the distance, they will likely only see her grow up through photos. And I will only see my nephews and nieces grow up through photos as well.

One could argue that I could have created a Flickr account to share my photos with family and friends. But really, who is going to check it? As one friend pointed out to me, it is just one more site to check. Since everyone in my life is on Facebook, it didn't make sense to leave completely.

Facebook doesn't make it easy for users to leave its site. Deactivating my account means that my Facebook friends don't have access to my profile. Every status update, comment and photo still exists as I can reactivate my account at any time by signing in. So really, all I've done is logged out. I am looking into how I can completely delete my previous account.

So I made a compromise. I created a new account under a new name that is strictly for family so they can have access to photos of darling daughter. While I've always had somewhat strict privacy settings, I've buckled down and tightened the privacy controls on my new account. Yesterday, I noticed I was checking Facebook several times during the day, wanting to know what people were up to through their statuses. I realize that the news feed fuels my addiction so I took the extreme measure of hiding everyone profile from my news feed. Honestly, I do care what people are up to, but there is no point of having a new Facebook account if I'm going to fall into my old Facebook-addicting behaviour. If there are no status updates, then there is no reason for me to be constantly checking my account throughout the day.

I've also set out some guidelines for myself which include curbing updating my status. Unless I've got something meaningful to say or share, (and making meatloaf for dinner doesn't count) then my family won't be seeing any status updates. My virtual self will attempt to live out a quiet and simple existence on Facebook.

I miss my old Facebook friends. I really do. I miss reading their status updates, browsing through their photos and laughing at their comments and posts. But I need to curb my addiction. And if becoming a semi-digital social networking dropout is what I need to do, then I'll do it. If you need to reach me, reach me through email. It is a dying art that I hope to get reacquainted with again.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Race day


Two months of training resulted in 32 minutes to reach the finish line.

Yesterday, I ran my first ever 5k race. Unfortunately, race results have yet to be posted, so I'm not exactly sure of my finishing time. There were no timing chips so timing was done manually. Bounding over the finish line, the clock was ticking very close to 32 minutes. And that is a pretty good finishing time in my books. I plan on framing my bib number as I'm extremely proud of what it represents.

Running in a race has a totally different feel than running with a friend or alone. There is definitely an energy of competition. And it is hard not to feed into or succumb to it. While most runners were likely running just to run to have fun or achieve their personal best, some were quite serious. Elite runners in the 10k race quickly blew by me while I was struggling to get to the halfway point.

So along with my friend and running coach, C, and her sister, we ran. The last kilometer was hard. I really wanted to walk, but I kept on telling myself that I had less than a kilometer to go. It was exhilarating to see people cheering along the sidelines. Approaching the finish line, I picked up the pace and surged over the finish line. I'm not too sure where the energy came from, but I think it was from the will to hurry up and finish the race.

I never thought in a million years I could run a 5k race, let alone run. But I did. Race Weekend is coming up in about six weeks and I'm looking forward to that. There is also another run in Barrhaven in mid-June. So many runs. So many possibilities.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Gotta run . . . update number five

There are some things in life that are good for me, but I don't like doing. I place lunges and hill running in that category.

I hate lunges. Hate them. But they are good for me. Although it has taken several years, I have developed an appreciation for them and what they do for my butt.

But hill running. Ugh. I'm not too sure at his point that I can develop an appreciation for hill running.

Until I started running outside, I didn't realize how big the hills in actually are in my neighbourhood. When I encounter a hill while driving, I step on the gas pedal. I can't do that I'm running as I rely on my own two feet and endurance to get myself up the hill.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been running mainly one particular route and it involves a large, windy hill that I consider fairly steep. For the last week, I've "cheated" by running down the hill, not up it. (However, I have to run up a hill on the way back). Yesterday, I decided I would run up said hill and if I had to walk when I reached the top, then that was okay.

As I've written before, a big portion of running is succeeding at mental game that plays out in your head. Yes, I want to stop, but can I take one more step? Can I take another step? And one more after that? Turning the corner towards the hill, I started to worry if I could even get to the bottom of the hill, never mind run up it. But once I reached the hill and started my ascent, I started running small steps. Once I reached the top, I kept on running. Although I did want to stop, I wouldn't let myself because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to start running again. I finished the course without one walking break. Pretty good

C, my friend and running coach, enjoys hill running as it builds endurance. She says that she didn't like it at first, but she now appreciates it. I personally think hill running is an acquired taste, one that I have yet to acquire.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Mixed messages and hypocrisy

I came across this article in the Toronto Star yesterday and I shook my head.

According to the story, British Columbia artist Kate Hansen posted three of her paintings depicting mothers nursing their babies on a Facebook group for portrait and figure artists on three different occasions. Three times the images disappeared. She received an email from the Facebook Team earlier this month, informing her the paintings had been removed because they violated the social networking site’s terms of use policy.

After making inquiries, the official response from Facebook to the Star is that the paintings were accidentally removed.

Sure. Whatever you say, Facebook.

This story doesn’t surprise me. In recent years, there have been stories about breastfeeding photos being deleted from Facebook. And it isn’t only Facebook. Around the time darling daughter was born, a furor broke out in British Columbia when a breastfeeding mom was ushered into a changing room at a H&M store in Vancouver after she attempted to breastfeed her two month old child in the store. At the time of the incident, employees told the mom it was store policy as breastfeeding may offend customers. In the end, the store backed down, claiming no such policy existed.

We live in a world where we don’t want to offend anyone. We also live in a highly sexualized world where sex sells everything from clothes to cars. We don’t blink twice when we see scantily clad women plastered on billboards, on magazine covers or their flashed on television. But our sensibilities are offended when a mother tries to breastfeed her baby in public or posts breastfeeding photos or paintings on Facebook.

Are you freaking kidding me?

While many will argue that women need to be discreet when nursing in public or use nursing rooms, this is hypocrisy at its finest. A woman is using her breasts what they are intended to do: to feed her child. Society views breasts as sexual toys, rather than life saving devices. To say to a woman she should covers up or go to a nursing room is sending the message that her breasts are offensive and to breastfeed her child in public will possibly offend others.

A recent U.S. study revealed that hundreds of lives could be saved as well as billion of dollars in medical costs if all American women were to exclusively breastfeed their children to six months of age. According to the study, 12 per cent of infants in the U.S. are exclusively breastfed to six months of age.

One of the lead authors of the study stated that women shouldn’t be blamed for low breastfeeding rates as they are not adequately supported from the time their babies are born.

Very true. To be honest, I am not sure what the breastfeeding rates are in Canada. According to a Statistics Canada study released in 2007, the extension of maternity leave from six months to one year resulted in breastfeeding targets recommended by public health agencies have been met.

However, the study also revealed that women weren’t more likely to initiate breastfeeding or attempt breastfeeding due to extended leave entitlements. But extended leave did result in women breastfeeding longer.

I’ve been giving breastfeeding some thought after reading this thought provoking post written by a blogger I follow. Then I started thinking: what is causing low breastfeeding rates? And I came up with some conclusions based on my own personal experience.

Firstly, women don’t adequate support. We are told breast is best, but often we are left on our own to figure out how to do something that we’ve been told that is natural. You may have one nurse tell you one thing, only to have another to tell you something else, resulting in confusing and conflicting information. I was able to access a breastfeeding program through the hospital I gave birth at. However, there were barriers. The program was only accessible to women who had given birth at the facility and they were only able to access it until their child was three weeks old. There was also a financial barrier as it cost $13 a visit to park in the parking lot.

Secondly, women need a stronger support system. Unless you know other moms who are or have breastfed, you may find yourself alone. I know I was. I did get support from a friend living in the U.S. Neither my mother or my grandmother breastfed. In my grandmother’s day, women were encouraged to formula feed their child as the reasoning by doctors was that you knew exactly how baby was consuming. I couldn’t rely on the experiences of my mother or grandmother because they had none to give me.

Thirdly, society needs to change its attitude when it comes to breasts. We are told that breast is best. But then we are told, in subtle ways, that breastfeeding in public is something that needs to be done discretely or avoided all together. God forbid if you whip out your boob to feed your child while sitting on a mall bench and offend someone in the process. The way Facebook treats breastfeeding photos and images is a reflection how society views women and their anatomy. Why is it okay for Heidi Montag to show off the results of her new breast augmentation surgery on the cover of People Magazine, but images of nursing mothers and their babies are deleted from Facebook? Women shouldn’t feel like they need to hide in their homes or in a changing room store to breastfeed. I have used nursing rooms. They are wonderful things. But sometimes nursing rooms aren’t all that convenient, especially if you have a hungry infant on your hands and the nursing room is two floors up from where you are shopping. I’ve breastfed in public, and sometimes I wasn’t all that discreet as darling daughter would knock off the blanket covering her. And I always found those breastfeeding cover to be a pain and awkward to use. So I gave up and stopped worrying if I was offending someone when I was breastfeeding in public.

I believe time will change this. But time takes time. Hopefully this will won’t be an issue when my own daughter reaches her childbearing years.