Battling the boredom factor

I had to go back into the archives and find this post in order to refresh my memory about the emotions I was feeling when I made the decision to become a stay at home mom.

It has been more than two months since I wrote that post. I can honestly say that I have lived up to my pledge of not obsessing or apologizing for my decision to stay at home. Last weekend when we were at wedding at I was asked at least three different times if I had returned to work. Instead of getting riled up in thinking I needed to explain myself and my decision, I simply said I was staying at home. Period. If I gave an explanation about my decision, it was brief.

Staying at home is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life. I will admit that I have had second thoughts. Some days I think it would be great if I got a job and took darling daughter to daycare. I would drop her off and at the end of the day when I'd pick her up she'd fall into my arms with a huge smile on her face. She'd have the same excitement she displays when dear husband walks through the front door at the end of the day. My days would be filled with exciting work and adult conversation. Also, I wouldn't have to look at half gummed Cheerios on the floor. I know these are romanticized ideas. I realize I have a lot of freedom by staying at home. The freedom of dictating my days the way I want them to unfold. The freedom of seeing my daughter grow, blossom and learn. And even the freedom of indulging in an afternoon nap when I need one.

But staying at home is harder than it looks. There is the boredom factor to contend with. Every day I plan an activity with darling daughter. Even if it is going out for a walk or running errands, I try to get out of the house. I have to in order to maintain some kind of connection with the world. Earlier this week we went on a walk and played in the park with some friends and on Thursday we had a small playdate with a friend. Today, we went shopping at Ikea.


But despite planning fun activities to bust the boredom factor, boredom does creep into my days. And when that happens, sometimes I start having thoughts of returning to the work force. When I was working, I'd have instant gratification when I met a deadline, finally tracked down a hard-to-locate source, or saw my byline in print. Although it is hard to explain, I don't get that same instant gratification when I am at home. However, I do realize that the time I invest in by staying at home will pay off in huge dividends. My investment is already paying off the way darling daughter holds her sippy cup, plays with toys, walks around the living room and smiles at me.

So battling the boredom factor continues. I know it will get easier as darling daughter grows older. In the meantime, I just have to come up with creative and clever ideas when fighting the battle.